Identifying What’s Next did not require any effort on my part to select something new and exciting and place it in the open space that was once a clearly definable career. The answer to the question “What’s Next” is simply naming what has been buzzing in the background the whole time.

I’ve always had a very active life of the mind. In fact, it’s where I have spent most of my life. I think this is true for a lot of us, and often, to our own detriment and the detriment of our closest relationships. (And yes, I am also working through this in therapy with Paul . . . more on that at a later time.)

But there’s also this thing that’s been going on in the background that might sound a little less than your normal “life of the mind.” In fact, I think it might actually be a little crazy, but I’m not sure I can explain or name the What’s Next until I tell you about it.

Really, it’s two things. Pretty much at all times—no matter what is happening in my outer reality or if I am activity doing other things—in my brain I am either writing a book or speaking passionately. And this has been the case since I was a kid.

It’s been happening in the background during classes, car drives, conversations, going to sleep, waking up, walking dogs, not walking dogs, being aware of my thoughts, not being aware of my thoughts; on elevators, on escalators, in the check-out line, walking around the grocery store, music playing or no music playing, late at night, early in the morning, making dinner, coffee, lunch breaks, all the breaks, no breaks—it’s always happening. If you were to stop me at any given time and ask “Hey, Beth, what are you thinking, no like, really thinking”—a truly honest answer would come out oratorically or paragraphically.

I am always engaged in either 1) composition or 2) elocution of ideas with meaning and power and purpose. Sometimes, I catch myself mouthing the words—gesticulating and animating—even in public. I am literally talking to myself with no sound. It’s embarrassing. I can’t help it. This is my background music. This is my hidden, crazy reality. And, it’s not fun.

I am literally talking to myself with no sound. It’s embarrassing. I can’t help it. This is my background music. This is my hidden, crazy reality. And honestly, it’s not fun.

That’s the thing. The volumes I have written do not exist outside my brain. The fervency of my belief and the conviction of my voice do not fully, truly exist outside my body. I have been writing and speaking my whole life mostly in silence; in obscurity; in my own echo-chamber. And this is unacceptable.

So, What’s Next? I am getting the words out. That’s pretty much it. But I will be doing it through the core of my belief and conviction: my love for women, for all of us, and my life-long desire as a woman to live in freedom and power, creativity and beauty.

I see my life, my story, and my work as inherently interconnected with women. Not only with the female authors and poets and warriors and artists and leaders who are my heroes, but also you. The woman reading this.

All the thousands of books I wrote in my head were written for you and with you. All the thousands of classes I taught and sermons I preached and keynotes I gave were for you and with you. And, of course, for me too. So that we can find a way to not be silent, not be in our heads, not be afraid, not keep our dreams and our words and our longings to ourselves. So that we can live in our full power and freedom and creativity and beauty.   

I have very little figured out of What’s Next, but I’ll tell you what I know.

1.      I will write books. And if I am lucky, they will be published.  

2.     I will teach classes. Class begins in May. Bring writing utensils and paper and big dreams.

3.     I will build a community. It will be full of hundreds of women and each one a big, magical dreamer. I want to call it Big Magic because it’s for women who are BIG and women who are MAGIC. But unless and until Liz Gilbert gives me permission, I probably won’t go that route. And presently, I do not have her number.

So, that’s all I got. A three-step plan, a launch date, and no name.